A lot of epiphany moments come to me in the shower or the car. Not necessarily the most glamorous, but definitely the most effective. I saw myself talking to someone as if my ex-husband and I were at a cocktail party and how it would feel to introduce him. I’d say, “This is the Man who broke-open my heart, and he is not the Cock…tail of this party. He’s the person who paved the way for the deepest pain in my life to access the magnificent woman I am now. Meet my former husband, we’re currently estranged from one another, but this is the undercurrent river of my truth… care for another drink?”
One of my biggest fears in healing and owning my resilience was that I’d have to be someone I’m not. I’d have to always carry the burden of resentment or make a move of forgiveness before I was ready. What I realized is that I am Me and I don’t have to Be anything other than who I am in any given moment. Sure I’d like to be the best version of myself, but in reality I can be the lowest or highest, it’s my choice. After burnishing pain and allowing more brightness to enter my heart, I can trust that I will always find my way back to higher ground when I fall.
I used to feel like I’d have to hold on tightly to my triumphs because I might never get another one. My limiting beliefs held me hostage and imprisoned me in a box labeled “Stay Small.” Now, breaking free from the box altogether has given me an expansive, priceless view of the world I want to live in. It’s a world without parameters and a world where I can shine more light on my authenticity, vulnerability and possibility.
If someone or something doesn’t resonate with me, I don’t want to spend my precious time trying to make it fit. It’s the brass ring that has always been just beyond my reach and I felt unable to rejoice in. Yes, I’ve lived disappointment and have wanted things to be different than they are, but the true “fit” for me, is to live a life of acceptance for all that is and all that isn’t. I feel my highest when viewing my life from that lens and thankfully, there couldn’t be a better party to attend than that!
As Always, Ignite Your Light and Let it Shine Bright,
From My Heart to Yours,
Kris
