The Holidays- that slippery slope to my Achilles heal when renewing life after loss. It is the time of year that has always been sacred to me, but has become another hurdle to morph into a milestone. And, it’s a milestone that I’ve had to
polish the rough edges with tears, grit, and perseverance to stay centered in love, regardless of external circumstances. Simply, there are times it feels like I will never get through the heartache I’m faced with having my daughter be in the home of another woman. For now, I forge ahead seeking new ways to be stability in the face of adversity.
Last year softened the blow of transition being with my daughter, Simone, for the first Christmas after separation. This year marks the first year apart after divorce. Like building anything from the ground up, there are steps that need to be taken in order to have a solid foundation to create from. You can’t build the sparkle of a glorious temple until the foundation is in tact; otherwise, the glitter eventually falls into the gutter. I know this, and have been challenged by remembering it in times of construction.
When I find myself confronted by comparison of others during the holidays; I dig deep in my well of gratitude and find a hook of hope to be my talisman. When the road is dark and full of demons, I’m replenished by courage to step beyond my ordinary and find the extraordinary. If you are feeling rough around your edges during this time, due to loss, loneliness, illness, or death; my heart is with you. For any of you with children who are apart from you this holiday season; I would give you a hug if I were near. Instead, I give heed to your healing as we are all connected by our humanity in the good, bad, and ugly of it.
When I fill my own heart with all things kind, nurturing, abundant and true; I extend extra to You. When I wrap myself in the warmth of love and forgiveness; I have extra for You. I have a bountiful hearth, even in the awkward silence of trying to pave a new path, preach a new sermon, or build a new life. These are the gifts that matter most to me and I have plenty under my tree.
I also have the following list of suggestions for you when needing refuge:
1. Know that every feeling has a beginning, middle, and end. Give yourself space to feel and move through them.
2. Volunteer at a shelter, Elder Home, Orphanage or Children’s Hospital
3. Connect with things that will replenish you- A walk on the beach, hike in the mountains, bike ride
4. Screaming in the car always helps me
5. Listen to Gospel or Choir Music
6. Shake things up and take yourself on an adventure doing things you love, like a scavenger hunt
7. Go on a road trip, visit a new restaurant, watch a movie, go to a museum, read a good book, connect with a friend
8. Meditate and be still
9. Laugh with yourself, family or friends
10. Create a phrase for you to center yourself through the emotional storm. Mine is…my daughter is loved and I choose grace
My resilience revolution is always available in your darkest hours. if all else fails, know that through this time you are not alone and I salute you wherever you are. Know that life doesn’t have to haunt you and that healing awaits you…
As Always, Ignite Your Light and Let it Shine Bright!
From My Holiday Heart to Yours,