Isabel Allende wants bold and courageous characters in her novels and says, “I need mavericks, dissidents, adventurers, outsiders and rebels who ask questions, bend the rules and take risks.  Nice people with common sense, do not make interesting characters, they only make good former spouses.”

I was the spouse she refers to- Me, an over-flowing wastebasket of common sense who would have never left her husband.  As my mother-in-law said to me, “you  wanted new dance steps, not a new dance partner.”

My light was dim and hiding behind the empty promises of a marriage no longer anchored in logic.  He wanted out and I wanted to change how I became boring, predictable and someone I didn’t want to spend time with.  The cliché everyone else could see, but me. Most of the free time I had was decompressing from the 1950’s poster girl role I boxed myself into. Rather than focusing on my own pursuits, I spent a lot of my marriage making the needs of my husband more interesting, along with it, the discerning barrage of hope that somehow it was a noble deed.

That’s not to say I didn’t love being married or didn’t love my former husband.  I didn’t love the woman I’d become within the dynamic we defined ourselves. Since my husband left, the freedom to be a maverick and take risks is coaxing and encouraging me to step out- boldly going where I’ve never gone before…

Surprisingly, when life as you know it crumbles at your feet, the crumbs can lead you to be a courageous new character in Real life- Not fiction.

As always, Ignite your light and let it shine bright.

From My Heart to Yours,


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